The End of my Elternzeit

My parental leave is ending and my morning rituals won't be the same.

It was at 6am when I paused and took stock of the situation – newborn son strapped to my chest to prevent him from crying while I baked a batch of healthy oatmeal cookies for my wife as she got a precious couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep – and thought: this is paternal leave, this is perfect.

I couldn't tell you what day it was, because I'd lost track of them. The newborn mother's life revolves around feedings, while a newborn father's life revolves anything he steps up to: diaper changes, healthy dinner prep, walks in the park, tea-for-wifey-making, and other tasks that gobble up the day and makes you focus on what must. Get. Done. Now.

And it's during that hustle and bustle that I've found time to stop and take it all in. That's when everything else – work, chores, lack of sleep, the rest of the world – recedes from view and I focus in on this little man and his mother and enjoy the moment.

It's like a tunnel vision of love.

And I wouldn't have been able to appreciate those moments, let alone live in those moments, if I wasn't on parental leave. And that's not just my own selfish reasoning. Helping around the house, taking care of my wife, bonding with my son, and adjusting to the enormity of fatherhood are all important benefits of a man’s parental leave.

How does parental leave in Germany work?

New parents in Germany get little over a year of paid leave that they can share between the two of them. But it gets confusing from there, since the time is as flexible as putty. I had a colleague who became a father and took most of the parental leave, while the mother returned to work shortly after their son’s birth.

Best Books from the Commute in 2018

I commute from Dusseldorf to Aachen about three times a week, which is a lot of time spent on a train. Many people are amazed by the length of my commute, but I look at it as a wonderful opportunity to gaze out the window, fall asleep and hope I don't get robbed, and mostly read. Since starting my Aachen gig in March, I've read a few good books that I wanted to share here. 

Berlin Noir Trilogy by Philip Kerr

Our anti-hero is Bernie Gunther is a Philip Marlowe-type detective whose moral code gets him into trouble on the streets of Berlin in Nazi Germany. Hooked yet?

These first three books of a fantastic series take Gunther from 1930s Berlin to the annexation of the Sudetenland to the reckoning in 1946. Along with the way, we meet a few historical figures. Gunther makes choices, some of them are tough in this time and place. As we read the final book of the trilogy, after Berlin is smashed and Germany is occupied, we meet supporting characters from the earlier books who are either facing, or fleeing from, the consequences of their own choices. Highly recommended.

Best Laid Plans by Terry Fallis

The hilarious story of a disenchanted political strategist who agrees to help run a campaign for a candidate with no political ambition in an unwinnable riding before he quits from politics. The candidate has no hope of winning and no desire to win, so he says what he believes is right, even if it's unpopular.

The novel is now ten years old, which were different times in Canada, but it still feels relevant today. It's bitingly funny, yet optimistic, and satirical without being cynical. Beneath all the jokes, the book expresses a hope in the possibility that politicians can follow their principles not polling data, speak unpopular truths, and treat public service like it is actually public service.

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

Working at Philty McNasty's in Toronto, I met two cooks who read this book and quoted from it frequently. They wanted to be Bourdain and would've preferred making fancy charcuterie platters to simple chicken wings we were slinging. They also had no interest in kitchen cleanliness – which led to the bar getting shut down for a week over health violations.

Random Blogs of 2018

I wrote fewer blog post this year then in previous years, but I had plenty of notes and rough drafts of ideas that didn't grow into full blogs. So, here are the best ideas that never became blogs in 2018.

Getting my Permanent Residence in Germany

It was certainly a year of turning points. A new era in the career. A new marital status. A new dependent. In this flurry of life-changing status changes, I never got around to writing about how I became a permanent resident in Germany.

And no, this won't turn into a rant about Germany's Kafkeaucracy. There was actually nothing absurd about it. I got an email asking me to prepare my documents. I went in prepared for an EU Blue Card (a work permit) and was told that with my German language level and contributions to the national pension scheme – the stuff that really matters here – I qualified for permanent residency.

It was simple and not the slog I intended it to be. An American colleague can't believe I got mine so quickly. An old roommate took the German language proficiency test that I never took several times and didn't get his permanent residence. Another Canadian acquaintance is scrambling to get hers before her Blue Card expires.

What makes me so different? I'd like to think it's because I'm special. In reality it's probably because I was over prepared. I had all my required documents and then some, and I was punctual. That matters if you want results from the German bureaucracy.

That Hungarian Election

Viktor Orban and his ruling Fidesz party cruised to another super-majority over a right-wing Jobbik party struggling to be less like its traditional far right self and a divided opposition that couldn't agree on whose local candidates should step down to unite behind one anti-Fidesz candidate.