EUROPEAN COMMISSION
Who is on it: Every country gets one commissioner, who swears an oath to the European Court of Justice. In theory, they're bound to serve the EU and not their own countries. In theory.
How it works: Each commissioner has a portfolio, like Canadian cabinet ministers, covering finance or infrastructure or whatever. The European Council (more on them below) proposes the president, based on the results of the European Parliament elections. This is why Jean-Claude Juncker, as a member of the European People's Party, the parliament's biggest party, is the commission president.
Why people don't like it: The European Commission represents what many Euroskeptics loath about the EU: it's not directly democratic. How else can a former Luxembourger prime minister reach such a lofty position?
Why countries don't like it: On the other hand, countries like the United Kingdom, Germany, and Hungary hate ceding power to the EU, so the weaker this institution, the stronger they are nationally. This is why these countries and others fought hard against Juncker becoming president in the first place.
What does Marshall think: The European Commission has been a guiding force behind tighter control, including economic control, from Brussels, which would prevent another Greek debt crisis.
EUROPEAN COUNCIL
Who is on it: It's not quite an official EU body. It's more like a summit of the EU countries' leaders – their prime ministers, foreign ministers, presidents, or the Taoiseach, if you are Irish.
Why it is important: They have no real, formal powers and they can't make laws. The one thing they officially do is appoint the president of the European Central Bank, which is a big deal in these dark, Grexit times.
No, but really, why is it important: Okay, okay. They guide the EU in a strategic, long-term sense. This might sound like one of those puppet masters pulling the strings until you realize they have this vision of the future and then various EU bodies and individual countries just do their own thing. Looking at you, United Kingdom.
How it works: It does, and it doesn't. They will jump in to help resolve a big crisis, like the Ukraine, but its success or failure depends on how much everyone wants to cooperate.
Why people don't like it: European politicians really like a European Council President who doesn't make any waves. The last one (he was so blah, I can't remember his name...) was really good at "consensus building," which is a euphemism for not pissing anyone off. Granted, that's difficult to achieve in the EU, but that doesn't mean it's a virtue either. The current president, former Polish prime minister Donald Tusk, is a former political activist who has taken a strong stance against Russia's aggression in Ukraine, despite the economic cost to other EU members.
What does Marshall think: The European Council, particularly under Tusk, has been the strongest opponent to Putin and his expansionist foreign policy. It's been the Council over and over again proposing sanctions and calling for the rest of Europe to back up Eastern Europe, and proving its relevance.
COUNCIL OF THE EUROPEAN UNION
Who is on it: It's made up of national ministers from each country, but the actual membership changes depending on what is being debated and/or decided. If it is a money bill, then the finance ministers are sitting on the Council. Infrastructure means it is development ministers. And so on.
Why it is important: With these names, it's likely getting confusing now. The Council of the EU is part of the legislative branch, its upper house.
How it works: Think of it as an EU Senate, with equal regional representation of its members. It proposes, writes, debates, and votes on new laws. Their decisions must be unanimous, which isn't so easy because their oaths are to their own countries, not the EU.
How it stops working and gets frustrating: Almost everything they pass must also pass in the European Parliament. Parliament can propose amendments and the Council can decide to accept them or veto them. This means a bill go can back and forth between the two legislatures for a while. If this occurs twice, then it goes to a Conciliation Committee. This happens often to the budget, which ensures there is no absurd American-style government shutdown.
Why people don't like it: Once again, there is no direct representation of the voters here – is that a pattern emerging? The whole legislative process gets a little messy because you have politicians representing their countries' interests writing laws that have to pass in European Parliament, where politicians are voting based on ideology or their voting blocs or their local constituency or however they happen to feel about something – it's chaos in there.
Why people really don't like it or really like it, depending on who you ask: These guys (sorry, it is mostly guys) get special powers on the environment and tax policy, so they can write laws and skip the headache of going through Parliament. They like this because Parliament can seem like anarchy to them, but it is a sticking point for Euroskeptics who claim the EU is not democratic (see, there is a pattern!).
EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT
Who is on it: Parliament is elected every five years. It's the only European Union institution that is elected directly by its own citizens. It is made up of 751 Members of European Parliament from 28 countries who represent 375 million voters (I looked that up).
Why it might seem weak: It is technically the legislative branch, but it has no power to propose or write laws. Instead they sit back and debate legislation and propose.
Why it's important: On the flip side, it appoints the EU Commission president and shares budget powers with the EU Council – that matters, because money matters.
Why it sounds like a lot of fun: It's a democratic free-for-all! Where else will you find Greek Syriza members debating in the same room UK Independence Party? It is Europe's political soapbox. Centre-left parties, like the European People's Party, hold the most seats, but far right and left wings groups, who are largely against the EU, hold about 10 per cent of the seats. They're all in there arguing and pissing each other off! Democracy can be so ugly it's beautiful.
How it works: Yes, it does actually work. It has no power over European Council matters, like customs, extradition, justice issues, monetary policy (beyond the budget), or citizenship. This is likely a comfort to top EU leaders who wouldn't want the crazies (far right or left wing parties) messing with those things, but almost every bill has to come before the European Parliament for a vote.
How it works, day to day: The European Parliament's make-up is an unhappy medium between seats per country and representation based on population. It's strange math that means 500,000 Maltese get six seats, Hungary has 21 seats and Germany, the EU's most populous state has 96 seats.
One of the reasons Marshall likes it: Parties are based on ideology rather than national interest, and this is encouraged by the EU. If parties can gather 25 MEPs, they can form a bloc to get some funding and seats in committees where they propose amendments to legislation. Outside of the blocs, MEPs can grandstand and vote to their hearts content, but to be effective, you want to band together and push for ideas that are larger than the country you're from.
EUROPEAN CENTRAL BANK
Why am I mentioning the ECB: It's been in the news a lot lately, so it's worth mentioning. But I will be brief because this section is the most likely to induce sleep among anyone with the grace or fortitude to make it this far into this post.
What is it: The ECB is the EU's money reserve. It's in charge of price stability and the EU's monetary policy. Only the ECB prints Euro notes, a power that was darkly illustrated a few weeks ago when Greek banks had to reset their withdrawal limits from 60€ to 50€ because they ran out of 20s.
How it works: The central bank is separate from the other EU institutions – remember from earlier: the European Council appoints the ECB president. They have to report to Parliament and the European Commission, but they can pretty much do whatever they want. For example, EU politicians couldn't agree on how to address deflation – not that I could either – so the ECB said screw you all and instituted quantitative easing, which meant pumping a trillion Euros into the economy. The issue was so complicated that no one was really that pissed off about it.
Still conscious after that? Good job! Next time I will write another post about beer or history or something.