You know its spring has come to Canada when the first warm day arrives. People peel off their winter layers, ditch their toques – some even don shorts, just to make a point. And they all head for the patios, where they drink beer merrily until the sun sets.
Of course, it's not summer so as the sun sets people migrate to tables remaining in the sun. until there are no sun kissed table left on the patio. Then everyone peels on their warmer layers or head for central heating in the bar or at home.
Germans are not unlike Canadians in this regard. Sure, we have our differences: a loopy doopy language barrier, Immanuel Kant, and really dark children's tales. But when it comes to drinking beer out of doors, we share some common ground.
Granted, it's a bit different. Many pubs in the Dorf have high tables, so you have to stand to enjoy your outdoor beer. This is good if you want to avoid those I-just-stood-up-to-pee-then-fall-back-into-my-chair moments. This is a bad thing if you're like me and like to lean when you drink.
The standing likely has a purpose. When I arrived to the Dorf in November, Canada's patio season was long over. That was when you sat inside the cozy pub with your frosty pint and cursed the grey sky and the coming snows. In the Dorf, those hearty Germans were drinking outdoors, standing mind you, so there's no frost-bitten toes.
But there are people who prefer to wait for fairer days to sip their outdoor beers. And the wait, with us Canadians in the cozy beer halls, cursing their grey skies.
Now, as my social media fills with patio shots and outdoor beer pitcher pictures, I am reminded that there are two seasons in Canada: winter and patio season. It's no different in Germany. The Germans come running out to the parks and patios for outdoor drinks and snacks and drinks. The crazy ones who lingered outside all winter, puffing their smokes and shivering over their cold beers, also join us, if they survived.
We all linger in the sun, drinks in hand. Some of us shuffle chair to chair to follow the setting sun while others remain on their feet, working on their tan until the end.
That's probably how its meant to be. Beer, whiskey, wine, whatever, all tastes better in the outdoors. No one sits in a basement and uploads photos of their beers. Well, no one on my social feeds, anyway.
Germans will perch at their high tables in the sun after work. Canadians will stretch out on their patios. We all do it differently, but we all have the right idea.
Beer Countries
It’s common for many Canadians to
point out that Europe does things better than us.
I don’t agree with these views because Europe gets plenty of things wrong, like militant ultra-right-wing politics, loving soccer a bit too much, creating treaties that are supposed to prevent world wars but end up causing them, and burritos – it’s impossible to get a decent burrito over here.
I will admit that Europe gets a few things right, like the welfare state, public transit systems, and alcohol laws. I mention the latter because my home province of Ontario is loosening its current liquor laws. The old law allowed the sale of alcohol only in government-owned stores and Beer Stores, which are owned by a bunch of foreign brewers.
I don’t agree with these views because Europe gets plenty of things wrong, like militant ultra-right-wing politics, loving soccer a bit too much, creating treaties that are supposed to prevent world wars but end up causing them, and burritos – it’s impossible to get a decent burrito over here.
I will admit that Europe gets a few things right, like the welfare state, public transit systems, and alcohol laws. I mention the latter because my home province of Ontario is loosening its current liquor laws. The old law allowed the sale of alcohol only in government-owned stores and Beer Stores, which are owned by a bunch of foreign brewers.
The new law will break the monopoly on the sale of beer and allow grocery stores to start selling it. No, wait, only some grocery stores after the required forms are completed. Oh, wait, the government is still fixing
prices, so it’s still a monopoly. Oh, yeah, and it's going to take two years.
Okay, so Ontario is not really liberalising
their beer sales, but in two years my fellow Ontarians will be free to buy beer in a store that the government chooses at a price that doesn't threaten the foreign/government stranglehold on the system.
While Ontario is making progress in baby steps, Europe is
doing a better job. Even Germany does not have the bureaucratic red
tape that Nanny State Ontario has when it comes to beer sales. And Hungary, oh, Hungary. That place is great for alcohol enjoyment.
Let’s take a closer look at three jurisdictions, because there is nothing more fun than comparing and rating countries with
Germany
On a Sunday beer walk through a Berlin public park, I saw a man pushing a baby carriage with a beer. If I saw this back home, I would have also been able to watch a mob stone him for enjoying a beer in the presence of his child in a public space. On a Sunday afternoon anywhere, it should be cool for anyone to take their kid for a walk in the park and enjoy a frosty cold beer.
Cold beer is available is convenience stores (they call them kiosks). You can buy it in grocery stores, along with liquor and wine. There are no government monopolies.
In Berlin's parks, along the Dorf's riverfront, and occasionally in the streets, people drink beer without going into Destructor Drunk Mode (but Germany might not be allowed to have a Destructor Mode anymore).
The point I'm making is that in Germany it's social thing as much as it is a legal one. It makes bureaucratic-loving Germany freer than Canada.
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| RATING: 3 out of 4 Happy Drunk Marshalls |
Hungary
When it comes to booze – and this is will be one of the few times you will see this written – the Hungarian government has got it right. They simply let it be. You can buy beer, wine, and liquor in the grocery stores and the kiosks.
Is it a pretty day out? Do you want to sit in the park and drink a beer? Go ahead! You can drink in the parks, on the streets, here, there, almost anywhere. You can buy beer as early as you like and – save for a few Budapest districts – as late as you like.
Again, this is a social thing. You're welcomed into someone's home with a shot of palinka. You have wine with dinner and sometimes a beer on a patio after work. You can stay out almost all night in the ruin pubs.
All of this makes Hungary a great party place, but it's still a great place to enjoy a few drinks – which is what the true enjoyment of wine or beer, or even palinka, is all about.
When it comes to booze – and this is will be one of the few times you will see this written – the Hungarian government has got it right. They simply let it be. You can buy beer, wine, and liquor in the grocery stores and the kiosks.
Is it a pretty day out? Do you want to sit in the park and drink a beer? Go ahead! You can drink in the parks, on the streets, here, there, almost anywhere. You can buy beer as early as you like and – save for a few Budapest districts – as late as you like.
Again, this is a social thing. You're welcomed into someone's home with a shot of palinka. You have wine with dinner and sometimes a beer on a patio after work. You can stay out almost all night in the ruin pubs.
All of this makes Hungary a great party place, but it's still a great place to enjoy a few drinks – which is what the true enjoyment of wine or beer, or even palinka, is all about.
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| RATING: 4 out of 4 Happy Drunk Marshalls |
Canada
I'm going to begin this section with a history reference* because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.
Canada sent almost 10 percent of its male population to war between 1914 and 1918, so the women were left running things. At the time the suffrage movement also advocated for prohibition, so while the war raged women got the vote and then passed prohibition. When the soldiers returned to a dry country, they were like, "Hey, this isn't what we were fighting for." So the Ontario government relented and said, "Alright, you can have your booze back, but it's going to be controlled by us."
That current system is almost 100 years old. The government stores, the foreign brewery-controlled monopoly, and the old timey social attitudes towards alcohol have changed very little.
The one change since then is that you can touch the merchandise. Before that, you had to walk to the counter and ask for what you wanted, which was fetched from the back and briskly put into a paper bag before anyone could see. No wonder so many East Blockers settled in Ontario: it's central planning in all its un-debaucherous glory.
Ontario still has a long way to go, hopefully people tell the government that right now they are not going far enough.
Canada sent almost 10 percent of its male population to war between 1914 and 1918, so the women were left running things. At the time the suffrage movement also advocated for prohibition, so while the war raged women got the vote and then passed prohibition. When the soldiers returned to a dry country, they were like, "Hey, this isn't what we were fighting for." So the Ontario government relented and said, "Alright, you can have your booze back, but it's going to be controlled by us."
That current system is almost 100 years old. The government stores, the foreign brewery-controlled monopoly, and the old timey social attitudes towards alcohol have changed very little.
The one change since then is that you can touch the merchandise. Before that, you had to walk to the counter and ask for what you wanted, which was fetched from the back and briskly put into a paper bag before anyone could see. No wonder so many East Blockers settled in Ontario: it's central planning in all its un-debaucherous glory.
Ontario still has a long way to go, hopefully people tell the government that right now they are not going far enough.
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| RATING: 3 out of 4 Angry Drunk Marshalls |
*Special thanks to Prof. George Warecki for sharing that gem during a lecture in his Canadian History class at Brescia College. Isn't kind of freaky that I remember that?
A Tree Grows in the Media Harbour?
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| Media Harbour at dusk, taken on one of the nights I was able to leave 'early.' |
Spring has come to the grey, dark Dorf. The last few days the sun has been staying out most of the day, instead of the few seconds it takes for the sun to jump from behind one cloud before hiding behind another.
If you're like me and have the luck (or lack of it) to be working in an office with windows, it's a great feeling. You look outside, you see the sun, you want to get out for a walk and feed your UV addiction and then sit under a tree.
But in my work neighbourhood, the Media Harbour, that's not really possible. I think we can blame Frank Gehry for that one. Well, no, not really blame blame him, but he started this.
He designed the first set of fancy wavy modern buildings here, which inspired more people to plop more fancy glass buildings here. Frank Gehry knew how to design a building, but you can't apply that design to a whole neighbourhood.
That is what was done with Dusseldorf's Media Harbour, which is now lined with modern or post-modern or post-post-modern (is that a thing? I think that's a thing!) buildings with wavy lines or glass covered everything or old brick industrial facades or coloured alien people festooned on them.
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| The architectural weirdness of the Media Harbour. |
These smart designers thought of everything to make the buildings, and the area, look cool – and it all does look very cool – except for adding a few trees for actual, natural coolness.
Picture this. It's a beautiful sunny day out. You walk out of the office and go to the lunch place with the fancy salads. You get those fancy greens to go with the intent to sit beneath a tree or on a park bench and munch on your arugula and goat cheese and read a book.
But you look around the harbour for a spot.
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| Where do the media workers eat? On the shadeless wooden bridge thing. |
Sorry. Nope! You're going to be enjoying spring's return on Dusseldorf's version of the Concrete Beach. You will be eating on the shadeless wooden bridge thing or on a bench in the cold concrete shade created by one of those po-mo glass slabs.
It wasn't always like this. Two colleagues have pointed out, with sad mopey faces, the spot used to be a great beach bar. Now, it's its place stands the heap of black glass and steel that is the Hyatt.
A beach bar! That is exactly what this neighbourhood needs. But someone has decided a building should go there and here I am willing to settle for a park.
On the bright side – I see the bright side because it's spring and I am feeling less pessimistic – there are slivers of green not far from here.
If you walk for about 10 minutes, you find some park and some benches on the river. If you go 5 minutes more – which requires more time than I have during office hours – you will find a strip of beach along the Rhine. It's no beach bar, but it's a relief to see that the media sprawl has left some nature untouched.
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| The beach, in not so spring-ish weather. |
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