I was going to write this shortly after my son’s six-month ‘birthday,’
but the job and the dad stuff got in the way, so I put it off for a few days.
Two weeks later, I’m finally banging out this draft, wondering where the time
goes.
My Opa once said that as he grew older, the days got long but the years
got shorter. I never really noticed that stretching and condensing of time
until I became a father. When I lay in bed exhausted, I wander what a long,
eventful day it was and then I think wasn’t that little guy just born a few
days ago? How did he get so big so quickly? Where did those long, full days go?
Shortly after university, I watched a friend become an active father. It
was from that adult’s perspective of parenthood that I saw how much work and
sacrifice comes with being a father who’s present, who’s there. I knew going
into this fatherhood thing that I was giving up some things to be a part of
something that was outside myself.
Aside from the sleep I’ve lost – which barely compares to my wife’s
sacrifice at the Altar of No Sleep –the sacrifices I’ve made haven’t been a big
deal. It’s the me-centred stuff that’s the first to go, like partying all night
or binge-watching an entire series on a rainy afternoon. Easy sacrifices.
And the money? Yes, a baby is expensive, but I would have blown that on
whiskey and road trips if he didn’t come along. If anything, my son has grown
me up and made me more responsible. He’s made me became a man.
But the time… That’s a sacrifice I’m still getting used to.
With so much more demands on my time and energy, I see time as my most
precious resource. And it’s flying by. I don’t feel like I’m wasting it. If
anything, I feel as though I’m making a far better use of it than I ever have
before. I’m tested and challenged. My son grows every day, and I’m growing too,
keeping up with him.
Time might be flying, but it’s not slipping away. And as the six months
have raced by, I feel as though my life is fuller than it ever was before. Now
if only it would just slow down a little bit, so I can appreciate and hold onto
some of these moments just a little bit longer.