Marshall in Strange Places: The Rhineland's Mardi Gras

Carnival has finished in the Rhineland.

It is a five- or six-day party – depending on how many days you take off from work – and we got to live in the middle of it.

What’s Carnival? It’s like the German (mostly Rheinish) version of Mardi Gras. But it’s not what you think. Efficient? Organized? Dismiss any of the stereotypes that pop into your head about Germans. It is Mardi Gars in all its beautiful chaos and debauchery.

There are differences. People wear costumes instead of beads. There's almost no flashing. No one is drinking Hurricanes, but there is plenty of beer.

Kata and I live in the middle of the Old Town, or the Altstadt, I think I have mentioned that the Altstadt is a bunch of old-style buildings on pedestrian-only cobblestone streets filled with bars, restaurants, and souvenir stores, but mostly bars.

I walk to work on Thursday, the beginning of Carnival through the Altstadt and people are already lined up for the Carnival kick-off at 11am. Oh, they're in costumes. Clowns. Fighter pilots. Nuns. Priests. Men in nun suits. A lot of FBI agents. Cops. Devils. White-haired aristocrats. Farmers. Mexicans. Maybe one or two angels.

I get into work and people are in costume too. There is a lunch party and colleagues are decked out as pirates, Indians (not so culturally sensitive over here), cows, cats, nerds, she-devils, and so on.

I get a text from Kata. She says it sounds like there’s a riot outside our windows. There are drunks in costumes stumbling up and down the streets. She’s trying to work at home, but that’s not going to happen. I walk home, through a crush of costumed partyers on the streets of Altstadt.

We venture out and wander the streets that evening. It's quite an incredible spectacle. Again, the streets and bars and patios are rammed with costumes. It’s a fun, but short, night out.

Then I get sick, so I stay home on Friday. I get sicker. I get vertigo. I lay down and I get the spins with dizziness and nausea. We go out for a walk, but I can only last an hour or so, then I have to lay down.

I try to get better but below the windows those costumed revellers are shouting, drinking, pissing, puking, and singing until 4am. Then the street cleaners blast down the streets to clean the mess for the next day’s debauchery.

We manage to escape the Carnival Chaos a couple of times during the weekend, for a walk in the park or down the river. But we return to the chaos every time.

This goes on until Monday, when the parade goes through town. We last through 45 minutes of marching bands and floats and people shouting 'Helau!' It's fun. Many of the bands are also in costume. The floats are amazing, and there's even a few political floats in the line-up.

Then we have to go back in because, you know, I have this vertigo thing and I am a wimp.

Tuesday comes, the Carnival is over. I’m seeing doctors, everyone’s back to work. In Canada, there are pancakes and then Lent starts the next day.

That was my Carnival. Next year, maybe I might wear a costume and I promise I will try to be healthier.